As I sit here and do some reflecting, the one thing that continually comes to mind is how frustrating spiritual warfare can be (if you allow it to get to you) in a place that is dead as a doornail. The biggest thing is how mentally draining it is when Satan has a stronghold on a place and uses it to try and peck away at the light that enters. Even while I'm typing this, the internet keeps going in and out.
The spiritual deadness of this place is everywhere. It looks dead, feels dead and can find you at any moment. Today it seemed to find me more than normal. This morning as I was walking to campus on a nature trail close to my house, I was praying and enjoying the brief 10-15 minutes of being away from people. This is a good spot to say it's not uncommon to see students pass by while walking but usually no eye contact is made or words are spoken. This morning was different. I passed two girls that were having a conversation outloud that I didn't want to hear. It was a conversation that just screamed spiritual darkness and came in a moment while I was praying. The next thing came while having a meeting with the guy who is over the athletic facility about using the gym for a night for only an hour to start a sports ministry. Even though it was positive, it felt like a win/lose situation. We can have the gym to start our ministry but we have to wait until after basketball and intermural season. This only leaves us with a month to try and get it off the ground. The last thing that happened today was being informed that a package of children's supplies we are intending to use at the French church to get a children's ministry started failed to reach me because I didn't live at the address that was placed on the package. UPS thought this was reasonable grounds to send it back to Tennessee.
After all of this that has happened today, it was easy to feel like I'm fighting a losing battle in which God seems far off. This, in a sense, felt like my Goliath. I was simply reminded in a couple different ways that God hasn't gone anywhere. Tomorrow night I'm leading a study on chapter 3 of the radical book and the topic is titled "Beginning at the end of Ourselves" and as I looked at my notes I saw the story of Joshua and Jericho. This is a great image of what can do with our limitations and it encouraged me that God loves to put us in situations where only he can come through. Wow! Me of all people should realize this by now with the way the past few months has gone but it's great to be reminded.
The second thing was while discussing about a Sports Night on Friday night. This night is to raise money for the people going back to Haiti in a couple weeks. I remembered that Lecrae had made a video after he returned from his trip and I showed it to the girl who is in charge of the Sports Night. As we watched the video and listened to the words, some in particular screamed out to me. After Lecrae goes through the song talking about how there seems to be no hope and God seems to be far away, he ends the song with verses from Psalm 62 and with the words "Even though he seems far, we can trust that he is not that far away." Wow again! So sitting here tonight and typing this, I know more days will come where it seems nothing can be done to break through the walls of darkness that surround this place but after two short and reassuring times, I know with God's power anything can be accomplished and I can trust that he is not that far away.
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